At times, traveling can be crazy, stressful, and downright maddening. It can also be incredibly hilarious. These tweets about travel have our sides splitting. Enjoy
Guy next to me on the plane woke up and is wiping the drool off his shirt. Now may be a good time to tell him I drooled all over his shirt.
— Rafael Torres (@rafitorres) January 21, 2010
Another hard-won travel tip: If you are wearing black pants, do not, repeat, do not let a donkey rub its itchy forehead on your thigh.
— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) April 24, 2009
Getting up at 4 AM to fly to Ireland and visit a Guinness factory. Because remembering vacations is lame, that’s why.
— Katie Rose (@katefeetie) September 17, 2009
Woman across from me at the airport is breastfeeding. To show support, I took my shirt off and made strong eye contact.
— patrickborelli (@patrickborelli) January 2, 2010
English translation of animal crackers at a Hong Kong supermarket: “Biscuit-shaped animals.” Something got lost in translation.
— Diana Kuan (@dianakuan) April 19, 2009
Sometimes I just want to sell everything I own and go backpacking through IKEA.
— Luckyshirt (@luckyshirt) October 24, 2013
Best part of vacation so far – spending hours online in a totally different place.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 2, 2010
Mile 100 of a 600 mile trip with 4 kids and my Air Conditioner just stopped working. Look for me on Cops.
— ruthakers (@ruthakers) July 1, 2010
I’m always slightly bummed when my car hits 88mph and I don’t travel back in time.
— Paul Scheer (@paulscheer) March 12, 2012
Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 13, 2012
Vacation resort rule number one: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever.
— Mike Scully (@scullymike) December 27, 2011
Travel Tip: Don’t lick everything.
— Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) February 8, 2012
Instead of making anyone travel for Thanksgiving, this year the O’Briens will have a tense, silent meal over Skype.
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 25, 2010
Just went through the insecurity line at the airport. Pretty sure I did it wrong.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) April 28, 2013
Before you express relief at not being seated next to a crying baby for the long flight, let me introduce myself. -- @Brain_Wash
Baggage carousel sounds a lot more fun than it really is —@ingridmusic
I think the thread count on this hotel towel is "gravel". -- @luckyshirt
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