At times, traveling can be crazy, stressful, and downright maddening. It can also be incredibly hilarious. These tweets about travel have our sides splitting. Enjoy 🙂
Guy next to me on the plane woke up and is wiping the drool off his shirt. Now may be a good time to tell him I drooled all over his shirt.
— Rafael Torres (@rafitorres) January 21, 2010
Another hard-won travel tip: If you are wearing black pants, do not, repeat, do not let a donkey rub its itchy forehead on your thigh.
— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) April 24, 2009
Getting up at 4 AM to fly to Ireland and visit a Guinness factory. Because remembering vacations is lame, that’s why.
— Katie Rose (@katefeetie) September 17, 2009
Woman across from me at the airport is breastfeeding. To show support, I took my shirt off and made strong eye contact.
— patrickborelli (@patrickborelli) January 2, 2010
English translation of animal crackers at a Hong Kong supermarket: “Biscuit-shaped animals.” Something got lost in translation.
— Diana Kuan (@dianakuan) April 19, 2009
Sometimes I just want to sell everything I own and go backpacking through IKEA.
— Luckyshirt (@luckyshirt) October 24, 2013
Best part of vacation so far – spending hours online in a totally different place.
— Michael Ian Black (@michaelianblack) July 2, 2010
Mile 100 of a 600 mile trip with 4 kids and my Air Conditioner just stopped working. Look for me on Cops.
— ruthakers (@ruthakers) July 1, 2010
I’m always slightly bummed when my car hits 88mph and I don’t travel back in time.
— Paul Scheer (@paulscheer) March 12, 2012
Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.
— Jim Gaffigan (@JimGaffigan) January 13, 2012
Vacation resort rule number one: Apparently, if you place a towel on a chair, you own said chair forever.
— Mike Scully (@scullymike) December 27, 2011
Travel Tip: Don’t lick everything.
— Rob Huebel (@robhuebel) February 8, 2012
Instead of making anyone travel for Thanksgiving, this year the O’Briens will have a tense, silent meal over Skype.
— Conan O’Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 25, 2010
Just went through the insecurity line at the airport. Pretty sure I did it wrong.
— Alec Sulkin (@thesulk) April 28, 2013
Before you express relief at not being seated next to a crying baby for the long flight, let me introduce myself. — @Brain_Wash
Baggage carousel sounds a lot more fun than it really is —@ingridmusic
I think the thread count on this hotel towel is “gravel”. — @luckyshirt
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